You wanted him to move out and become independent, but now he is choosing a lifestyle you don’t like. Take care not to push him awayA few years ago I got married and became step-parent to a teenager (now in his early 20s) who was raised by his alcoholic and chaotic mother (who subsequently abandoned him). He lived with us for over a year, and we had plenty of challenges getting him into a regular schedule and into work. He’s made amazing progress.After he’d lived locally with another family member, which we paid for, we pushed him to become independent, work more and pay his own rent. Eventually we told him we couldn’t pay any more – not only could we not afford it but it felt as if he was taking advantage. Continue reading…